


flowers always and always

by cosmicocean



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Flowers, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Language of Flowers, M/M, Todd Brotzman is Bad at Feelings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but god bless him he does his best, but it's absolutely peripheral and i didn't feel right about putting it in the relationships tag, tina and farah are girlfriends in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 12:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20192653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicocean/pseuds/cosmicocean
Summary: “How did this happen?” Farah looks vaguely suspicious of a sudden influx of aesthetically pleasing flowers, which, if Todd’s being honest, is the sort of reason that she’s his best friend. “Did Mona do it?”“Nope.” Dirk holds up his wrist where a silver bracelet made up of tiny stares jangles a little bit. “We stayed up late watching Kitchen Nightmares and she decided she’d like to come in to work for a bit today. Couldn’t have been her.”Farah’s eyes narrow and her hand goes to the gun on her belt.“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Todd says quickly, holding up his hands. “I did it, don’t shoot any of the vases, okay, I don’t want to have to go out and get new ones.”Where Todd finds out what flowers mean, where he does his best to express feelings without having to verbalize it, and where I write the absolutely most tooth rotting fluff I have ever put to pen.





	flowers always and always

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to make footnotes to tell y'all as you went what these flowers meant, but as it turns out, I am not bright enough to comprehend how to make that happens. So here is the flower key, so you know what they mean as they go. I'll throw in the link to where I found these at the end. If you don't want to know what they mean until the end, please disregard this message and you can come back to it after.
> 
> pink camellias: longing for you
> 
> red carnations: my heart aches for you
> 
> white lilies: it's heavenly to be with you
> 
> yellow tulips: there's sunshine in your smile
> 
> forget me nots: true love
> 
> red tulips: declaration of love
> 
> red chrysanthemum: I love
> 
> daffodil: you're the only one
> 
> gardenias: secret love
> 
> red roses: love
> 
> lavender roses: enchantment

It’s probably the dumbest thing Todd's ever googled. 

Which is saying something, honestly. Todd doesn’t google in complete or even coherent sentences. He relies on autocorrect a lot and sometimes it doesn’t always pull through. There’s a lot of weird misspelled things in his search history. 

The point is, it’s dumb, and Todd feels dumb, and probably his whole life is dumb, just going down this train of thought’s logical progression. 

And it’s Dirk’s fault, anyway. Sort of. Not really. 

It starts at the farmer’s market. Dirk’s started going to them on Saturdays and sometimes dragging Todd and Farah along. Farah takes to it like a duck to water, usually wearing a long white dress with buttons and a floppy hat, walking around with an iced coffee in her hand and pointing out little booths selling cheese, which generally delights Dirk. Todd feels less like he belongs than Farah and Dirk seem to, but rolls with it, occasionally picking up some chocolate or a pastry. Neither of them seem to mind, Dirk often grabbing Todd by the arm and pointing out something he likes, making Todd laugh, and by the end of the day it feels like a solid adventure was had that was less scary and death defying than their normal adventures. 

“I’ve been thinking about getting Tina a nice present,” Farah tells Todd, wandering arm in arm with him past various tents. “Mail her something good. What do you think?” 

“I dunno. Weed?” 

“She can get that on her own.” 

“That’s true. She’s probably pretty good at it. I dunno, she’s _your_ girlfriend.” 

Farah hums. “I’ll figure something out. The new shirt is a good choice, by the way.” 

Todd looks down at his shirt. It’s a short sleeved black button up patterned with little strawberries. “I dunno. I think the strawberries are a little big.” 

“No, it’s good. I like seeing you rediscover the color spectrum bit by bit.” 

He grins. “You’re such a dick sometimes.” 

“_Oh!_” Dirk had darted off somewhere while they were talking. He returns with an arm full of a bouquet of orangey flowers. “They have a little stand with some form of cheese dip, Farah, I think we should all get some and find a show to marathon together. Todd, you like _Cutthroat Kitchen_, it gives you an excuse to heckle people.” 

“I do like to heckle people.” 

“Beware,” Farah says thoughtfully, touching the petals of Dirk’s flowers. 

Todd stares at her. “Did… one of us do something to piss you off?” 

She rolls her eyes. “No. Begonias. They mean beware.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“_Flower language_, dumbass. Begonias mean beware, amaryllis means pride, that kind of thing. I like begonias.” 

“Yes, well, you would like a flower that symbolizes an ominous warning.” Dirk moves them to one arm. “I thought they would brighten up the office! You know, the quest to bring a little color.” 

Dirk’s been trying to find new ways to make their office more colorful that doesn’t involve just throwing paint everywhere (which Farah and Todd immediately shut down as a possibility). “Better than the bouncy balls you got.” 

“How was _I_ supposed to know that I would break things?” 

“Because I told you that you would,” Todd says at the same time Farah says “we all _literally_ told you this.” 

“You’re both party poopers and you make my life more difficult than it has to be.” Dirk neatly pulls a flower from his bundle and slides it into Todd’s front pocket. “There you are. It goes with the strawberries.” 

Todd feels his face flame up. “Um. Thanks.” 

“It doesn’t,” Farah says. “It clashes pretty heavily.” 

“Yeah, well.” He shrugs awkwardly. “It’s fine.” 

Dirk turns around. “Come on. Let’s get the cheese and then I’m going to get a danish for Mona, in case she’s a person when we get back.” 

The problem about Dirk is that Dirk isn’t a problem. 

It would be a lot easier if he _were_ a problem. If he were a problem, Todd could just be like “all right, fuck this guy” and move on with his life, going back into the state Amanda tends to refer to as his “sitting in the corner being a broody asshole glaring with his guitar”. 

But he’s not a problem. He’s a pain in the ass, admittedly, sometimes, and sometimes annoying, and if he ever brings a jar into the agency offices again brightly proclaiming it to have twenty seven bouncy balls, Todd just might have to drop him off a desk or something, he doesn’t know, just something. Unfortunately, he’s also nice, and funny in his pleasantly affable little shit way, and somewhat unfortunately but also not remotely regrettably, Todd likes him a lot. 

And he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to _do_ with that. Supposedly, when one has feelings, you’re not supposed to repress them into a little ball, let them fester, and then set that ball free with your inevitable death. Which honestly would work for him, because then no one will have to look at him and know he readily and freely shares human emotions. Which admittedly, he’s getting better at, but he’s not sure “hey so I have less than platonic feelings for you to an extreme degree and I was hoping we could talk about that maybe” falls under the umbrella of getting better just yet. 

He doesn’t want to… entirely not tell him, though. He wants a way he can ease into this without it being completely obvious that he’s easing into something. A way to work towards being an actual functioning emotionally healthy person. 

Todd lays in bed for a while that evening, staring at the ceiling, stubbornly refusing his idea. 

Then he groans and swears loudly, rolls over, grabs his phone off his nightstand, and starts googling. 

When Dirk and Farah get into the office a couple days later, Todd is sitting studiously at his desk, working on paperwork, in the hopes it will disguise the unpleasant anxiety turning his stomach over and over. He hears both Dirk gasp as they enter and a thoughtful “huh” from Farah. 

“Todd, _look_,” he says excitedly, like Todd hadn’t actually been here when he arrived. 

“Yeah.” Todd stands, looking around the several vases full of pink camellias he’d strategically placed around the office. “I see them.” 

“How did _this_ happen?” Farah looks vaguely suspicious of a sudden influx of aesthetically pleasing flowers, which, if Todd’s being honest, is the sort of reason that she’s his best friend. “Did Mona do it?” 

“Nope.” Dirk holds up his wrist where a silver bracelet made up of tiny stares jangles a little bit. “We stayed up late watching Kitchen Nightmares and she decided she’d like to come in to work for a bit today. Couldn’t have been her.” 

Farah’s eyes narrow and her hand goes to the gun on her belt. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Todd says quickly, holding up his hands. “I did it, don’t shoot any of the vases, okay, I don’t want to have to go out and get new ones.” 

Both of them stare at him in surprise. 

“_You?_” Dirk asks, looking delighted. 

“Well-“ Todd rubs the back of his neck. “I mean, you wanted more color around here, right? And you’re not wrong, I guess, it’s sort of a… blank white space, for the most part, so I figured that, y’know. I could maybe make it better. If you like them.” 

Dirk goes up to one of the vases and brushes his fingers against the petals. “I _love_ them. And I don’t even _like_ pink.” He turns to Todd, beaming. “This was _very_ sweet of you.” 

Oh, god. _Compliments_. From _Dirk._ He’s very free with them when it comes to Todd and he’s still not used to it. He shuffles awkwardly. “Well, I, I just thought, y’know, that’d it’d be... good. And stuff. And. Yeah.” 

“Well, it _is_ good and stuff. We can add it onto your job description. Assistant and official flower guy.” He turns back to Todd and cheerfully claps him on the shoulder before heading for his desk. “Thank you, darling.” 

Todd feels himself go red despite the fact that he’s sure Dirk probably calls everyone darling, and is pretty glad Dirk can’t see his face. “Yeah. Well. No problem.” 

Farah’s teaching Todd to throw knives. He has a lot of trouble with guns and Farah says he needs _something_ to be capable of fighting with should the occasion arise. It’s a fun way to spend time with Farah. They always go for coffee and pastries after. Leaving the knives in the car, obviously. 

“So,” she says while she’s teaching him how to properly clean a knife. “The flowers were nice.” 

“Yeah. All that shit you said about rediscovering the color spectrum and shit.” 

“Pink camellias are a nice choice.” 

“I thought so.” 

“Did you know they mean _longing for you_?” 

Todd inspects his blade. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” 

“I’m sure.” 

“Your knives are much cooler than mine.” His are badass but pretty simple, silver knives with black hilts and little rings at the end. Hers are the same but with some kind of shimmery blue and purple blade. 

“Of course.” Farah calmly spins hers so she can grip the hilt comfortably. “I’ve had a lot longer to practice and a lot longer to know what I’d like.” 

“And what you’d like is the shimmery?” 

“_Obviously_.” She neatly puts her knives back in the little rolled up holder she has for them. “Just because I’m a badass doesn’t mean I don’t like sparkly things." 

“Never said you didn’t.” Todd reaches into his bag. “I have something for you, by the way. You said you were looking for stuff for Tina, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

Todd hands her a CD in a jewel case with _Mexican Funeral demo collection_ scrawled on in Sharpie. “There’s probably not a lot of people in the world who have one of these so, y’know, collectors item to a... rare few.” 

Farah gapes it at. “I was just gonna get her a cool sword. She watches fantasy movies when she’s stoned and talks about how neat the swords are.” 

“Yeah, well. Now you’ve got this, I guess.” 

“No, I’m still gonna get her a sword.” Farah smiles at Todd. “Thank you, Todd. This was… really nice of you.” 

He shrugs awkwardly. 

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known who I’ve made out with and who I’m not dating.” She winces even as the words are coming out of her mouth, her face doing that thing where it screws up and her eyes close and she looks like she’s regretting many decisions. 

Todd grins at her. “Did that sound better in your head?” 

“Yes, yep, much.” She puts the CD in her back. “I will no longer make fun of you for the weird flower thing you’re clearly trying to pull here.” 

“You’ve discovered my true motive.” 

“Okay,” Dirk says as they walk down the street. “Okay, okay. So Watkin _isn’t_ the one who almost gets crushed to death.” 

Todd sighs, chucking his empty coffee cup in the recycling bin they pass. “No. There’s no Watkin.” 

“Then who almost gets crushed to death?” 

“Luke, Leia, and Han.” 

“But then which one’s Watkin?” 

“_There’s no Watkin._” 

“But I don’t understand, then who almost gets crushed to death, again?” 

“Oh my god, it’s-“ Todd stops dead on the sidewalk, staring at him. Dirk stops as well and manages to keep a politely confused face for about fifteen minutes until his mouth does that thing where he’s trying not to smile but his lips are turning up at the corners so he’s stifling it by pursing his lips and raising his eyebrows significantly (which he probably doesn’t know is a tell but is most _certainly_ a tell). 

“Oh my god,” Todd says again, this time with a different strain of disbelief than before. 

“What?” 

“Oh my _god._” 

The face gets even worse. “Todd, people are going to have to navigate around you, really, you’re being very inconsiderate-“ 

“You’re such an absolute and complete fucker, Dirk.” 

“Not very pleasant of you, you know-“ Todd punches his shoulder. “_Ow._” 

“When did you watch Star Wars?” 

“Never, but I asked Amanda about Watkin a few weeks ago and she told me." 

“So you just thought it would be funny to fuck with me?” 

“Well, _yes_, obviously.” Dirk jerks his head. “Come on. We are actually going to be late.” 

Todd starts walking next to him. “We set our own hours, Dirk.” 

“So the least we can do is stick to them like very professional, no nonsense… professionals.” Dirk’s face explodes into a full blown grin now, and Todd’s so annoyed that he finds that adorable, that it makes him happy when he grins at him like that. God, he’s such a dick. “Your expression was positively fantastic, by the way.” 

“God. Shut up. I’m going to fire you.” 

“You can’t. I’m your-“ 

“You are _not_ my boss, we have that very specifically written down in a piece of paper in the safe that makes it clear that my title is assistant but you are not my boss and therefore, by the way, you have no power to fire me, if that’s where this is going.” 

“Well then, really, Todd, what _exactly_ are you assisting?” 

“The universe.” 

Dirk drifts off the curb a little. “Well, I’m a conduit for the universe, which should give me the power to-“ 

Todd quickly grabs his hand and yanks him back onto the sidewalk as a car comes rushing by. “Jesus, you’re gonna get yourself killed.” 

Dirk’s gone a funny color which Todd attributes to almost getting hit by a car. “Right. Um. Yes. Right. Sorry.” 

Todd lets go of his hand as soon as he realizes he’s holding it, and tries not to think about holding it in the future too much because then it’s going to make him awkward in front of Dirk and he does that more than he’d like anyway. “And the universe can not come down from on high to fire me through you.” 

Dirk shakes his head a little, like he’s shaking off his previous bout of being dazed. “No. No, actually, it can, because I say so.” 

“So you’re actually gonna fire me now?” 

Dirk pulls out the keys to their office as he approaches it. “We’ll see. I can put you on a thing.” 

“A thing?” 

“_Yes_, a thing, that thing, probation thing.” 

“_Jesus.”_ Todd sticks his hands in his pockets. “I mean, just fire me _now_, it’ll be far faster.” 

“Don’t tempt-“ Dirk stops when he sees inside the office. Todd tries to move as little as possible while also entering the office, having forgotten he’d done this, and now very anxious that any abrupt movement while prompt Dirk to look at him suddenly before he’s managed to get his face in order. Dirk slowly turns around, looking at the red carnations in various vases scattered around the office. Todd’s trying to figure out the right number of vases to make this the optimal level of “not as weird as it could be”. Right now, he thinks it’s four, but four with a large bundle. He’s arranged them carefully, one vase against the window, two each up against two of their white walls, and one on Dirk’s desk, which he worries could be too obvious, but he’s hoping the other three will offset that a little. “Oh, look at _this._ Did you do this last night?” 

Todd shrugs. “Thought I’d do it after we closed up yesterday. Just, y’know. Little… project, for the end of the day.” 

“It’s very good. I like it. Maximum level of flowers is good.” He turns to Todd, beaming. “_Definitely_ can’t fire you now. I couldn’t do this.” 

He flushes. “It’s just putting some plants in vases, Dirk.” 

“Yes, well. You do it very nicely.” 

Todd’s emptying vases out while Farah and Dirk are out for coffee a few days later when he sees an extra one sitting on Dirk’s desk. He frowns, putting one of the vases that still has flowers next to it and crouching down to look at them. The new one looks a little more healthy, the petals a little more red and less wilted than the others. 

“I get that this is what you do,” he says, trying to be tactful. “And that’s cool. It’s all good. But I could have thrown you out by accident and I don’t know what that would’ve done to you but it probably would’ve sucked.” 

Todd steps back in time for Mona to appear with a _pop_, sitting on the desk, frowning slightly. She’s always in her white nightgown. He doesn’t speak to her as often as Dirk does, but that never changes about her outfit. 

“Everything in here is light or dark,” she says, in that peculiar cadence she has. “You’ve got no other color. It’s _underwhelming_.” 

Todd’s not sure how Dirk and Mona relate to each other, precisely, if they consider themselves to be close friends or siblings, but however it works between them, he can definitely see why. “Yeah. I guess that makes sense. You wanna stay human for a second while I finish this?” 

She clicks her tongue. “Fine.” 

Todd finishes emptying out the last vase and throwing the flowers in the trash. Then he heads over to the mini fridge Dirk insisted they install in the corner and pulls out a bottle of Gatorade, as well as a ham and cheese croissant he’d put in there. He goes back to the desk and holds them up to show Mona. “You hungry?” 

She gestures imperiously. “Yes.” 

He sits up on the desk next to her while she takes the food. “So the color is the problem?” 

“It’s airy.” She swings her legs a little. “It’s bright. But there’s no color other than the flowers. I just want a more interesting part.” 

“Yeah. That’s true.” Todd thinks about it. “What about being a bunch of colorful highlighters? Just like, in a little glass container so it’s _kinda_ like flowers, y’know? Same bright pop of colors, less… chance of throwing you out.” 

“Hm.” She takes a bite of the croissant. “It sounds like a meaty role.” 

“…yeah, I guess it’s pretty meaty.” 

“That’s satisfying. The color is pretty. That you made.” 

“Thanks. I’m trying.” 

“You should get more.” 

“That’s my plan.” 

“Dirk’s apartment has no color. It’s very sad.” 

Todd’s a little startled by that. He’s not actually in Dirk’s apartment very often, so he guesses he wouldn’t know. “That’s… surprising.” 

“He’s only in it to sleep and see me.” She unscrews the Gatorade cap. “The rest of the time he spends in your apartment.” 

He blinks, abruptly thrown. He hadn’t really noticed. Except he had, he guesses. His apartment feels colder when Dirk’s not in it. He just… hadn’t noticed how little it was colder. He doesn’t know exactly what to do with that information, but he thinks he likes it. Mona, fortunately, does not notice his minor crisis, too busy downing the entire Gatorade bottle in one go. She doesn’t even stop to breathe. 

“Okay,” Todd says as she calmly puts the plastic bottle behind them on the desk. “That’s pretty impressive.” 

She looks pleased with herself. “Thank you.” 

“So highlighters are good?” 

“Yes.” She looks out the window. “I want to be yellow and pink ones.” 

“Sounds nice.” 

She taps him on the shoulder. “You know,” she says, matter of factly. “He doesn’t call everyone darling.” 

Todd stares at her. “Sorry?” 

The door opens, Farah and Dirk chattering. Mona and Todd look over at them. Mona is there as herself only for a moment to beam and wave at Dirk, and then she is immediately gone, replaced as a pleasant clear vase full of highlighters. 

“Oh, that’s tastefully done,” Dirk observes cheerily. Farah looks a little startled, probably because she’s the last somewhat normal holdout amongst them and seeing someone turn into something else is still an unnerving thing to witness for most people. “Very nice.” 

“She wants to be something with brighter colors. I didn’t want her to be a flower because I was worried about accidentally throwing her out or something.” 

“That’s clever!” Dirk looks thrilled. “And considerate. Well done, darling.” 

Todd shrugs as Dirk carefully picks up the Mona vase and puts it on their desk that is ostensibly to receive clients and has more been taken over by the three of them to house random things they’ve collected, albeit neatly. 

_ He doesn’t call everyone darling._

He doesn’t know what to make of that. 

Todd is woken up on Saturday morning by his phone going off. 

“Nyuhh,” he grunts. “What?” 

“You,” Dirk says cheerily. “Are none too affable in the mornings.” 

“It’s a Saturday. I’m maximizing my sleeping time.” 

“Would you like to stop maximizing and instead go to the farmer’s market with me? And instead of being annoyed compliment me on the fact I didn’t just come down to your apartment and start rapping on the door?” 

“Yeah, sure.” To the former, anyway. “What time are we going to meet Farah?” 

“Farah’s Skyping with Tina this morning, so I thought perhaps we could go together on our own, if you like.” 

“Yeah.” Todd yawns. “Gimme some time to shower and stuff. The door’ll be unlocked.” 

“Splendid.” 

Todd feels a little nervous about it while he’s in the shower. He doesn’t know why. He and Dirk go for lunch and stuff alone together. Something about this feels different, though. It’s ridiculous. 

When he comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, Dirk is already there, carefully inspecting Todd’s sole cookbook. He looks up when Todd enters, then quickly flicks his eyes to the ceiling, cheeks turning a little pink. It’s not like Dirk to be embarrassed by anything, but evidently some things can do it, so Todd lets it go without comment. 

“Hey,” he says. “Just grabbing a shirt and some shorts and we can go.” 

“Sounds good,” Dirk says, eyes still trained on the ceiling. Todd heads to the bathroom and changes. He looks at himself in the mirror and frowns. The shirt is definitely wrong. Something about it paired with these shorts. It’s not a good look. He comes back out. 

“Something’s wrong with this, right?” he asks. 

Dirk wrinkles his nose. “Yes.” 

“God, I knew it.” 

“It’s an easy fix, though, just wear that blue shirt with the stars and astronauts pattern. Little bit of color with the white.” 

“Hm. Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Todd pulls the shirt out of his dresser, tugs the one he’s wearing off, and puts the new one on. He shakes his hair out a little bit and runs his hand through it to try and make it look a little more combed. He turns back to Dirk, who’s gone back to pink. “This is better?” 

“Ye-“ Dirk clears his throat a little. “Yes. Definitely better.” 

“Okay. Awesome.” He grabs his wallet and his keys. “This is the weirdest shirt I own, by the way. I don’t know why I own this.” 

“Well, you look nice. It fits you well. So I wouldn’t worry about it.” 

Todd flushes. “Um. Thanks.” 

“I’ve been thinking about learning to cook,” Dirk tells him as they approach the farmer’s market. “Now seems like a good time to learn to feed myself.” 

“You eat fruits and vegetables.” Todd’s got his hands in his pockets. "I’ve seen you. That seems like a pretty good step.” 

“Well, yes. But I’m not very good at preparing them. I was thinking roasted vegetables and meatballs.” Dirk pulls a page out of his pocket. 

Todd frowns. “Did you rip a recipe out of my cookbook?” 

“Well, I’m going to put it _back_.” Dirk holds it out to him. “Will you help me find these?” 

Todd scans the recipe. “Yeah. Sure. Shouldn’t be hard. I’m not a very good cook, though.” 

“Well, you’re good at understanding instructions, so you should be an excellent assisfriend in this regard.” 

He grins. “Are you ever going to stop calling me that?” 

“Extremely unlikely. Let’s find a stand with vegetables.” 

They’re walking with a bag full of vegetables and a bag with enough meat for meatballs in it. They’ve also got a couple strawberry lemonade. Todd’s gotten better at wearing colors, but it doesn’t stop Dirk from teasing him that the lemonade is brighter than anything he owns. Todd’s anxiety is almost gone. He doesn’t know why he was anxious in the first place. It’s not like he’s on a blind date. It’s _Dirk_. Being around him is usually easier than being around himself. 

“You think we should pick something up for Mona?” Todd asks. “Y’know, in case she’s hungry? Is she at your apartment today?” 

“No, she and Farah are off on an adventure. Not sure what it entails, exactly. Might just be going to the movies, might be going to get in a fight, might be going to see a play. It’s a nice thought, though.” Dirk gives him a look out of the corner of his eye. “The shirt really does work, by the way. It’s a good... look, on the whole.” 

Todd quickly throws his empty lemonade cup in the trash so he doesn’t have to look at Dirk. “Thanks.” 

“I was thinking, maybe, after I get a little bit better and I’m a little more sure I won’t poison you, I could make us some dinner. Something, y’know, tasty or something.” 

“Yeah. That would be nice.” Todd glances at him. “I have a good pizza recipe, you know. I’m not good at cooking much but I can do that. I could teach you. If you wanted.” 

“Yes. Um. I’d like that. Maybe after the trial run of the meatballs.” 

Todd grins at him to try and conceal the fact he’s having emotions. “Only when you’re a little more sure you won’t poison me?” 

Dirk sniffs. “Well, I’m never going to be _positive_ I won’t poison you, Todd.” 

“That’s real comforting, Dirk.” 

“Really, the most we can hope for is 60-75% likely that you will not be poisoned.” 

“Your optimism is staggering.” 

“Yes, I’m wonderful like that.” 

“Yeah, I’m-“ Todd stops at one of the stands. “Oh. Let’s look here.” 

Dirk perks up when he sees it’s a flower stand. “Oh. Excellent idea.” 

Todd looks around the small white tent while Dirk cheerfully pets a passing dog. He quietly picks out a bundle of white lilies, pays, and walks up to Dirk. 

“For the office,” he says. “We can stop off there first." 

Dirk’s face softens looking at them. “They’re wonderful,” he murmurs. “You have great taste.” 

Todd grins a little, looking down. “Why don’t, uh. Why don’t I carry the bags back, and you can… carry those.” 

They switch off, Dirk cradling the lilies in his arms gently. He looks happier than Todd thought he would, something that’s making him feel kind of like he wants to get a little moony. He tries to resist the impulse. 

“Can I keep one?” Dirk asks. “For my apartment, I mean.” 

Todd thinks about how Mona said he has no color. White’s definitely not a color like he’d think Dirk would like, but maybe it’ll help. “Yeah. Of course. No problem.” 

“What d’you want to watch next?” Todd asks, looking over at Dirk, who’s making tiny paper stars with brightly colored sheets he’d brought with him and dropping them into a small mason jar. They’re sitting on Todd's couch enjoying a day off by marathoning movies. He had picked up goat cheese and a baguette at the farmer’s market the other day and the two of them are working their way through it. His favorite days are the days off, not because he doesn’t have to work, but because it’s when he and Dirk get to hang out and do nothing. He likes doing nothing with Dirk. They’re both curled up in sweatpants and loose shirts, Dirk in a soft white one and Todd in his Queen _A Night at the Opera_ shirt. Dirk’s hair is all mussed. Todd’s get some baguette crumbs on his shirt. None of it matters. They can just be lazy and relaxed and casual, and they get to be lazy and relaxed and casual with each other. It’s comfortable, and it’s nice, and Todd kinda wants to do it all the time. 

God, he’s so far gone. Having feelings is so much. 

Dirk hums. “_The Mummy._” 

“Didn’t we watch that last weekend?” 

His tone gets haughty. “You say that like it _matters._” 

Todd grins. “Okay, I’ll give you that.” Dirk drops a purple star into the mason jar. “Where did you learn how to do that?” 

“YouTube tutorial.” 

“Was it for a case?” 

“Nope.” He drops a blue one in. It’s a rainbow of colors in the jar, very nearly full. 

“You want another slice of bread?” 

“Sure.” 

Todd reaches across to the small and beat up coffee table he’d gotten at a Goodwill and snags another piece of the bread, smearing the goat cheese across it. He hands it to Dirk, who puts it on the couch armrest next to him. Todd starts setting up the movie. He’s contemplating getting up for a beverage when Dirk drops what is evidently the last star into the jar. He screws the cap on tightly and shakes it a little bit so the colors mix even further. “It looks good.” 

“Thank you.” Dirk holds out to him. “Here.” 

“Do you need me to put it somewhere?” 

“No. It’s for you. So put it where you like.” 

Todd blinks. “It’s what?” 

Dirk’s gone red. “You keep bringing color to the office. Thought someone should return the favor, so, you know. Stars. Jar. Color. There you are.” 

“I.” Todd’s not quite sure why he’s so touched. “You didn’t have to make me anything.” 

“Well, no, I didn’t. But I wanted to. So I did. I just… wanted to, is all.” 

Todd looks back down at the jar. “They’re nice,” he whispers. “You did a good job.” 

Dirk shrugs, looking awkward. “Thanks.” 

Todd traces the outline of one of the stars, smiling at it. He wonders if Dirk learned how to do it just for this. He doesn’t know how to ask. He looks back to Dirk, who’s watching him intently. 

“Thank you,” he manages. 

Dirk’s answering smile is almost shy, something Todd’s not used to seeing on him. “You’re welcome." 

“So what’s with all the flowers?” Amanda asks, her feet up on Todd’s desk even though (and probably because) he specifically asked her not to do that. Apparently the Rowdy Three and Beast are running an “errand” (something she said with enough of a certain kind of grin that Todd doesn’t want to look into so he won’t be complicit in anything) and they dropped her off here so she could spend quality time with Todd, something he very much enjoyed at first and is now starting to enjoy less. Her boots have dirt on them. 

“I like flowers,” Todd answers sourly, pointedly looking at her combat boots far too close to his mug. Amanda pointedly ignores him. 

“Was it Dirk’s idea?” 

“No.” 

“Farah’s?” 

“No.” 

“Did the universe sprout them from nowhere?” 

“_No._” 

“It can’t have been you.” 

Todd glares. Amanda lets out a startled laugh. 

“Stop that.” 

“_You?_” 

“I can be, I dunno, fuckin’ genuine, when the mood hits.” 

“So why is it a genuine thing?” 

He flushes. “It’s not.” 

Amanda’s eyes widen and she leans forwards, taking her boots off his desk but looking like she realized something, because Todd’s life is an endless monkey’s paw cycle. “Is it for _Dirk?_” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about _and keep your voice down._” Dirk and Farah are following a lead but they could be back any minute and Todd really doesn’t need Dirk hearing this conversation. 

“Right, so you got yellow tulips, Dirk’s _favorite_ color, and that’s just, like, a coincidence.” 

“I don’t pry into _your_ love life, you know." 

Amanda snorts. “You couldn’t handle it. It’s just like Ron Swanson’s. Epic and private.” 

“_God_, okay, stop.” 

“So did you mail her the sword ahead of time or are you bringing it with you?” Todd asks. 

Farah grins as Todd hands her coffee. It’s their last day before their two week vacation (as best they’ll be able to manage it- the universe does not look kindly on extended breaks, but Farah does not look kindly on not getting time off to go be with her girlfriend) and the two of them are sitting in the office. Dirk is returning a pet to someone’s owner. “I’m bringing the sword. Obviously.” 

“Oh, of course. Very silly of me.” 

“Extremely.” 

Todd leans back, stretching his legs out. “You’ll say hi to Tina and Hobbs for me?” 

“Probably.” 

He laughs. “You’re very good at pretending you’re not an asshole sometimes.” 

She laughs, too. “Like you’re so much better than I am.” 

“Fair enough.” 

“So.” Farah looks around at the vases with forget me not scattered around. “Are roses and mistletoe too obvious?” 

Todd groans. “God, you promised me you weren’t gonna tease me about this anymore.” 

“I’m not teasing.” 

“You’re _definitely_ teasing.” 

“I’m only teasing a _little_.” She stretches her legs out, too. “True love, huh?” 

He flushes. “I hate that you know this.” 

“Are you _ever_ going to talk to him about this?” 

“Yeah. When I’m ready.” 

“It’s been _weeks._ Are you ready _yet?_” 

He looks over at one of the vases, placed carefully next to Mona. “Nearly,” he says quietly. “I’m getting there.” 

Farah’s quiet for a moment. Then she nudges his foot with hers. 

“It’s nice,” she says. “I mean, you’re _very_ emotionally constipated, and that’s coming from me, so, y’know, you know what that means. But it’s a sweet way to figure your shit out.” 

“Thank you.” He means it. He knows Farah knows. They sit in companionable silence. 

Todd’s plan for their time off is to do the same as always, which is just hanging out with Dirk. He might show him to make pizza after all. Maybe, somewhere in there, he’ll pluck up the courage to ask Dirk out on a date, maybe even have the nerve to phrase it that way. He’s not sure how to do it. He doesn’t know if he should dress nicely. He feels like if he dresses too nice, it’ll give the game away, and he doesn’t think he can plan adequately for that. 

He’s dithering over hypothetical outfits the morning of their first day off when his phone rings. He grabs it from his nightstand. 

“Hello?” 

“Ah.” Dirk sounds off enough that Todd sits bolt upright in his bed. “Todd. Hello. Would you believe I’ve gotten hurt in a rather stupid way?” 

“Yes.” Todd’s already trying to find something to wear. “Where are you?” 

“Coffeeshop down the road. You’ll know it when you see it. I’m a bit… cut up. Will you believe that it’s not my fault?” 

“I’ll believe whatever you want.” Todd scrambles to find a shirt. “Just, just stay where you are, okay? I’ll be right there. Do you need to go to the hospital?” 

“No. I’m just… a little shaken. And annoyed. And bleeding, a bit.” 

That does nothing to assuage Todd’s rising panic. “Dirk-“ 

“It’s really all right, you know. It was just very stupid.” 

“I don’t care. Just don’t move. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right there.” 

Dirk is sitting on a park bench outside the bougie coffeeshop a block from their building when Todd hurtles up. The window of the coffeeshop is smashed open, probably because of the car that’s through it. Dirk is staring at it resentfully, some little cuts on his face as people from ambulances examine other people who look disheveled. Seeing the car is enough to make Todd’s anxiety go through the roof. When Dirk sees him, he smiles a little vaguely. 

“Hello,” he says, sounding a little discombobulated. “I’m having a day.” Todd kneels in front of him, putting a hand on his face to try and examine him, see how bad the damage is. His finger brushes up against one of the cuts and Dirk winces. “Ow.” 

“Sorry, Jesus, what _happened?_” 

“I was getting a couple pastries for, well, I thought I’d come and say hello, and I thought I’d come bearing baked goods, and then this car just sort of… plowed through the window.” 

“You got hit by a _car?_” Todd can hear his voice go up a couple octaves. 

“Not quite. There was next to nobody in here, actually, nobody got hit by the thing, so really, it’s more a miracle than an accident.” 

Todd tries to breathe evenly. “So what happened to you?” 

Dirk scowls. “One of the tables that went flying from the car hit me and knocked me over and I hit some of the glass from the window on the way down.” Whatever the expression on Todd’s face is, it can’t be great, because he hastens to go on further. “I don’t even have a concussion, they looked me over. I’m just achy and my face hurts and a little cross and I’d like to not be here anymore, please.” 

“Can you walk? Are you okay?” 

“For a given value of okay. And yes, I should be good. Maybe just a little… stumbly.” 

“Come on.” Todd gently wraps his arm around Dirk’s waist as he helps him up and lets Dirk lean on him. “Let’s go home.” 

“Really, it’s more of a pain in the ass than anything else.” Dirk flinches a little as Todd wipes his face with a washcloth and the antiseptic wash he keeps under his sink. “I mean, I was just trying to have a nice day, you know. Thought we’d get the two of us some food, maybe we could watch something, just have a nice time.” 

“We can still do that, just…” Todd reaches for the box of bandaids. “Quit squirming, okay? I want to get the placement right.” 

Dirk obliges. “Did I scare you?” 

Todd puts a bandaid over one of the cuts. “Yeah. A little.” More than a little. It is what it is. 

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t know who else to call.” 

“You definitely should have called me.” There’s not a lot of large cuts on his face. He doesn’t actually need to put bandaids over a whole lot. “I’m okay with you scaring me, as long as you let me know when something bad happens.” 

“Still. I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to be.” 

Dirk’s lips tilt in a wry smile. “Least they’re not pink this time, right?” 

Todd’s confused until he remembers, smiling back. “You and pink.” 

“The only pink I’ve ever liked are those flowers you got. Which ones were those?” 

“Camellias.” 

“They were nice. You have a good eye.” 

“Thank you.” Todd gently smooths the last band-aid down, trying not to think about how he’s basically stroking Dirk’s cheek. “This should be the last one.” 

“Thank you, darling.” His voice is quieter than it normally is when he calls him that. It’s always added after an exuberant bout of praise, a _well done_ or _nice job_ or something like that. His voice is more of a murmur now, and something about it makes Todd’s heart tighten and want to hear him say it ten thousand more times. 

“Yeah,” Todd whispers. “No problem.” 

Dirk smiles at him and they just stand there for a moment, Todd’s hand still on his cheek. 

Then Dirk yawns. Todd grins, the spell broken. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I guess this whole thing’s gonna make you pretty tired, right?’ 

“Yes.” Dirk looks vaguely annoyed at his yawning. “I suppose.” 

“You can sleep in my room, if you want. Or the couch pulls out. It’s your call.” 

He hesitates. “I think I’d… prefer to be around people right now, so… the couch would be good." 

“Yeah. Whatever you want.” 

Todd insists on pulling the couch out without Dirk’s help. Dirk insists on being the one to go get sheets and pillows from Todd’s tiny bedroom. He’s completely pulled the bed out and Dirk’s still not back, so he goes to see where he’s gone. 

Dirk's got an armful of blankets and has paused by his nightstand. His fingers are resting against the top of the mason jar full of stars on Todd’s nightstand. He looks up at his entrance. 

“You keep it by your bed?” 

“Um. Yeah.” Todd tries not to shift from foot to foot. He feels like it’s a tell. “I mean, it livens up the room a little, y’know? It’s… good.” 

Dirk smiles at him. 

“Grab the pillows for me, would you?” he asks. “I’ve got too many blankets.” 

“You’re good?” Todd asks. “Like, you don’t… need anything?” 

“No. I’m good.” Dirk yawns again. He’s curled up under the blankets. Todd’s sitting next to him on the bed. “I’m sorry I scared you.” 

“It wasn’t that bad.” 

“If it wasn’t that bad, you wouldn’t be fussing this much over me getting hit by a table.” 

“You also got a little cut up by glass.” 

“Regardless. I wasn’t actually hit by the car. And I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t keep apologizing. It’s okay.” Todd straightens a little bit. “Is it okay if I stop by the store? I mean, you’re probably going to be hungry when you get up. I can find us something.” 

“Just… wait til I’ve fallen asleep.” 

“Yeah. I can do that.” 

He yawns, bigger than any of the others. “You don’t have any flowers in your apartment.” 

“No. Those are for…” Todd cuts himself off before he can say _you._ “Those are for the office.” 

“Hm.” Dirk’s clearly dozing off. 

Todd waits for him. 

Todd comes back having stopped at the bakery. He puts the two raspberry danishes on the coffee table, moved to the side to accommodate the couch. He heads into the kitchen and pulls down a vase. He puts the small handful of red tulips he’d gotten and puts it on the coffee table next to the danishes. Then he crawls into bed to read on his phone for a bit. 

Except that doesn’t happen, because Todd wakes up slowly. 

The last thing he remembers is putting his phone down just to close his eyes for a couple minutes. Now, he comes to bit by bit, and when he’s awake enough to do so, he opens his eyes. 

Dirk is lying next to him, silently watching, He looks more still than Todd usually sees him. It’s like seeing him like he is when it’s just the two of them watching movies in his apartment, only a little softer around the edges. 

“Did I fall asleep?” Todd rasps. It’s a pretty obvious question and he doesn’t know why he asks it. 

“You did.” 

“Oh.” He yawns. “I got us breakfast.” 

“Yes. I saw. Thank you.” 

“Mm.” Todd sits up slowly. “You’re closer, you wanna grab them?” 

“Do you mind the crumbs in the bed?” 

“I don’t care if you don’t.” 

“Sounds good.” 

They eat quietly, both, Todd thinks, because they’re still waking up a little. Dirk keeps looking off in the direction of the coffee table, zoning out a little. Todd tries not to worry that maybe he has a concussion after all. 

“Can we get flowers?” he asks suddenly, after they’ve finished eating. Todd looks over at him. 

“What?” 

“I want flowers. For my apartment. Can we go and get some? Wherever you’ve been going to get ones for the office?” 

“Yeah. I don’t see why not.” 

They don’t bother getting dressed in normal clothes. Dirk’s in his sweatpants and his white shirt, and Todd’s in his sweatpants and his Queen shirt, and Todd doesn’t see why they need to look any more put together than that. Dirk throws on his yellow jacket, and that’s all. 

When they get to the florist’s, Dirk looks around at all the flowers curiously. 

“What do you want?” Todd asks. 

Dirk keeps looking around. “You pick.” 

“Dirk, it’s your apartment.” 

“You’ve got good taste. You know what you’re doing. Just pick whatever you think is best.” 

“…okay.” Todd looks around, too, already cataloguing choices. “How many do you want?” 

“As many as we can carry.” 

Their arms are full when they get to Dirk’s apartment. Red camellias and red chrysanthemums, daffodils and gardenias, white lilies and forget me nots. Mona was right, Todd thinks, as they enter Dirk’s apartment. It’s relatively sparse, a bare bones kind of apartment. Todd doesn’t blame him for wanting to get color in here. 

“Do you have anything to put them in?” he asks. 

Dirk shrugs. “I’ve got lots of glasses and mugs I’ve accumulated. We can put them in those.” 

They scatter them all over the apartment, cutting them down and putting them everywhere, in glasses and mugs and a pitcher Dirk’s got. They put them on windowsills, on Dirk’s dresser, his nightstand, his bookshelves, his kitchen counters. They’re quiet as they work, Dirk seeming intent on cutting the flowers properly. When they’ve finished, Dirk stands in the middle of the apartment and looks around, surrounded by flowers. Todd watches him from the kitchen doorway where he’s leaning, arms folded. It’s a good job they did. It looks nice. So does Dirk, slowly turning around, staring at all of the flowers. 

“Are you doing it on purpose?” Dirk asks eventually, looking up at the forget me nots they’ve placed in a pitcher on one of his shelves in the bookcase. He has hardly any books, and they managed to fill a lot of the bookcase up. 

“Am I doing what on purpose?” 

Dirk looks over at him, eyebrow quirked. “Todd,” he says. “Have you _ever_ met a larger repository of information I would never be able to use than me?” 

“…I guess not.” 

“So you don’t think I wouldn’t know what flowers mean?” 

Todd blinks, staring at him. Then he realizes and stands bolt upright, feeling hot and cold all over. Shit. _Shit._ This should have occurred to him. He should have known that this was a possibility. He’s pretty stupid for not. 

“I,” he manages. “Uh. I.” 

“I wasn’t sure at first.” He looks back at the forget me nots. “I thought it could just be a coincidence. But it’s an awful lot of coincidences. And I thought I’d ask. And I think your reaction is probably your answer.” 

It is. And however way this goes, whatever happens next, that’s going to be pretty obvious. 

But it’s not right that Todd doesn’t say it out loud. He’s gotta pull through on that. 

He takes a couple steps forwards. Then another, until he’s standing in front of Dirk properly. 

“I.” He clears his throat. “I didn’t know it was a thing until Farah told me. And then I… yeah. I did it on purpose. All of it’s been done on purpose, and…” he takes a deep breath. “And I meant it. All of it.” 

Dirk returns his gaze to the flowers, and whatever happens, he’ll always have looked like this, quiet and beautiful against a backdrop of flowers. 

Then he closes the distance between them, staring into his face. Todd doesn’t move, but he doesn’t break eye contact. He barely breathes. He’s not sure he remembers how, right now.

He puts his hands on either side of Todd’s face and hesitates again, like he’s waiting to see if Todd’s going to tell him to stop. 

He doesn’t. 

Todd winds his hands into Dirk’s shirt when he kisses him at first. He doesn’t know what to do with them. Dirk is tentative, like he’s still unsure, and Todd rests one hand on his neck and the other on his waist, like he’s reassuring him but also like he’s grounding himself, and he can feel Dirk relax against his touch. His lips are warm, and he shuffles closer so they’re pressed up against each other, and he’s more self assured but it’s still slow. Todd’s brain shorts out a little bit, the world narrowing down and zeroing in to just right here. 

Eventually, unfortunately, he needs to breathe, and they break apart. When Todd opens his eyes, Dirk’s are still closed. His cheeks are pink around the bandaids, and his lips are parted slightly. Todd can’t stop staring at him. When he opens his eyes and looks at Todd, he goes even pinker. Todd feels like he’s smitten all over again. 

“Were you pretty sure?” Todd whispers. 

“Yes,” Dirk answers, voice hushed. 

“When?” 

“Lilies. At the farmers market.” 

“Was the farmers market trying to work your way towards a date?” 

“Yes.” Dirk leans their foreheads together and puts his arms around Todd’s waist. “The lilies helped.” 

Todd links his around Dirk’s neck. “I liked the stars. I wanted to see them when I woke up in the morning.” 

Dirk takes a deep, shaking breath. Todd almost wants to close his eyes but he can’t stop looking at him. 

“Don’t stop with the flowers,” Dirk murmurs. 

Todd shakes his head. “I won’t.” 

“Good.” 

Todd kisses him. He doesn’t know how he couldn’t. 

Moving in doesn’t take long, but it feels like it makes sense. It’s only been a month or so, but Dirk doesn’t even really live in his apartment anymore, he just pops in to get clothes every now and again, clothes that keep migrating down to Todd’s apartment. It feels less like a momentous occasion when he moves in and more of the natural progression. Todd still goes to get pizza, there. There’s got to be _some_ kind of celebration, because even if it’s not huge it is celebratory, and dinner out feels like the right way to go. 

When he comes back, there’s a vase sitting on their coffee table with red and lavender roses in it. Todd stops dead and stares at them. Dirk calmly comes in, neatly takes the pizza box from him, and puts it on the kitchen counter. 

“Don’t forget to lift your jaw up,” he calls from the kitchen. “Flies will get in there!” 

Todd walks over and brushes his fingers against the flowers. “Did you do this?” 

“No, someone broke in and left flowers on the coffee table, but didn’t take anything. It’s one of the stranger experiences of my life.” 

“You’re such an asshole.” 

“Mm, from time to time.” Dirk comes back in, and grins at Todd. “Come on. You’ve got to admit this was smooth. It’s the _one_ flower you’ve never used.” 

Todd swallows. “Yeah,” he manages. “Yeah, because it’s _obvious._” 

“It’s obvious, and yet you seem pleased.” 

“I hate you.” 

“No.” Dirk comes up and wraps his arms around him, kissing the side of his head. “You don’t.” 

“No.” Todd leans back against him. “I like them.” 

“I thought you might.” 

“And it was smooth.” Todd grins. “For once.” 

“I have my moments.” 

“And I’m glad… that you’re here.” It can still be hard for Todd to do this. Talking about feelings can still put him on the rocks. But it’s getting better. And he likes to try, because it’s worth it, in the end, when it comes to Dirk. “I’m glad that you moved in. And I’m glad that we… get to do this. I’m glad that we're this.” 

Dirk tucks his face into his neck. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “Me, too.” He kisses him again on the side of his head. “Come on. We should eat before the pizza gets cold.” 

“Yeah. Good idea.” Dirk lets him go but Todd still takes his hand as they head for the kitchen, Dirk squeezing it and giving him that grin again, the one that makes Todd’s stomach swoop. 

He grins back, and does it without ducking his head so Dirk can’t see. 

**Author's Note:**

> Honest to god, this is so sappy and fluffy I almost felt embarrassed to post it. I would assume a lot of fic writers have been in similar positions and that some of you get it.
> 
> [This is the Pinterest board I made while working on this fic as image references, it should have all the flowers in it, but I may have missed some](https://pin.it/3warrf7ve5eajj)
> 
> -I actually want to write a fic all about Mona one of these days so pardon her minimal appearance in this, it will be changed
> 
> If I remember more notes, I'm going to put them here.
> 
> [Every once in a while one of my fics gets a bunch of comments in a cluster from different users, and I’m pretty sure at this point it’s because it’s been recced. Which is exciting! But I’d love to see it when it happens, so here’s a link to my tumblr! Feel free to tag me!](https://cosmicoceanfic.tumblr.com/)


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